One-Hit Wonder Wednesday, Vol. 6

Ava is known far and wide for her negotiating skills.

After a long day, it can get a bit annoying for me...

and evidently for Willa as well.

As we pull up to the Dairy Queen drive-through, I'm telling the ladies that tonight there are no choices.  Everyone is getting a small vanilla cone.  Mommy's treat, mommy's choice. 

Ava pipes in right away with a counter-offer, "I should get a medium because I'm bigger than them."

I maintain my cool and don't buy into it, repeating my single offer of the small vanilla cone.  Ava insists.

Willa ends it all with this satirical version of my usual parenting technique of offering choices:

"Ava, I will give you two choices.

Your choices is a small cone with a lizard on it or puke on it.

Now what is your choice?"

One-Hit Wonder Wednesday, Vol. 5

We're always working on our resumes reports around here...

Willa and Elsa were playing with their babies one afternoon and the action turned a little rough.  Willa was using her baby as a bat and anything in her path was the ball.  Elsa started yelling, "Baby killer, baby killer!"  To which an-otherwise-completely-absorbed-in-her-book-and-ignoring-them biggest lady Ava responds,

"Ha, baby killer.  That'll look really good on her college report."

One Hit Wonder Wednesday, Vol. 3

"Ooohhh CRUD!

It snow-ed on my spring,"

Willa, upon seeing the mother-lode of snow that Mother Nature dumped on us last night.  Truer words have never been said.

yes your highness

One morning, just days before her 3rd birthday,

Willa and I had the following exchange...What would you like for breakfast?


I wanna root beer float.


That's not breakfast food, choose something else.


I wanna cookie and chocolate.


No.  You need to put something good for you in your belly.

A silent pause coupled with this look.

I now know that this was not a look.

It was a warning.

Can I have oatmeal?

Yes.  Oatmeal is a great choice.

Yes it is, your high-ny ass.

My turn to take a silent pause.  I'm a seasoned mom and very careful

not to show my certain surprise or possible concern

over her choice of words.

There's no way she said that intentionally.

I will let it go and I will not laugh.

OK.  Will you please get the oatmeal?

Yes, your high-ny ass.

Completely intentional.

I laughed and she had her oatmeal.