Wednesday, April 27, 2011

One-Hit Wonder Wednesday, Vol. 5

We're always working on our resumes reports around here...

Willa and Elsa were playing with their babies one afternoon and the action turned a little rough.  Willa was using her baby as a bat and anything in her path was the ball.  Elsa started yelling, "Baby killer, baby killer!"  To which an-otherwise-completely-absorbed-in-her-book-and-ignoring-them biggest lady Ava responds,
"Ha, baby killer.  That'll look really good on her college report."

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

he's still here

Last week an old high school friend of mine passed away.  He was this big, burly, jocky, goofy, lovable guy that you couldn't help but like.  He was easy and comfortable to be around and I loved him.  He was my friend.  I loved talking to him, joking with him, cheering for him, pondering life with him, partying with him, laughing with him, listening to him...and now I'll have to live with missing him.  I've actually missed him for awhile.  Our lives happened around us and our friendship faded through the years.  Fifteen years to be exact.  I was a blushing bride and he was there.  I hugged him, met his sweet girlfriend, thanked them for coming, and spent the night dancing near them and all our other guests.  A few letters, emails, and Facebook posts spanned the years between that day and the day I received the news of his death.  

A life cut short is always so shocking and so painful for those left to experience its brevity.  It's selfish of me, as he leaves behind family and friends who love him, his two small children who experienced too little of him, and dozens of young men who knew him as their football coach...but I want him and our friendship back!  I feel like a little kid promising to be good...I'll call, I'll write, I'll listen...really, I'll be a good friend!  But the reality is that all I have left are a handful of pictures and glory day memories. 

As I sat looking over those old pictures and crying my way through the memories, my 9 year old little lady asked what was wrong.  I explained that an old friend of mommy's had died and I was just very sad.  She looked through the pictures with me and asked a few questions about him and my high school days.  I cried.  And then the wisdom of the ages came pouring through her little soul...she so simply stated, "Mommy, only his body died.  Who he really is lives right here forever."  And she put her hand on my heart.  

She's right.  He's been here all along, sharing space in my heart with all the people who have been a part of my life.  After pondering this for several days, I no longer think I'll have to live with missing him...I think I'll get to live with the memories of our friendship and will be forever grateful that he was a part of my life.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

One Hit Wonder Wednesday, Vol. 4

Today's one hit wonders are those 3 little ladies' interpretations of a few values we have tried giving them....


Gratitude
"My grandpa is the BEST because he bought me a DSi and he knows about God," proudly proclaimed by Elsa (age 5).  Nintendo and God can thank me for the free publicity
in any way they see fit.

Generosity
 These 3 little ladies can EAT and are quite miffed when their favorite snacks go missing.  Ava was wondering where the last of the Cheetos went.
When I told her that Daddy had eaten them, she
raised her fist and growled, "Oh no he didn't."

Persistance
Ava (age 9) was struggling with getting the tangram set back into a square and yelled, "These things are stupid and impossible to get back!"  Willa (age 3) ever so calmly and patiently replied, "Nothing's impossible, Ava.  You just have to keep trying."
For you Yo Gabba Gabba fans, that little bit of advice will sound very familiar.

Compassion
The girls were playing house one afternoon and Elsa (age 5) was the mom.  She was in the middle of a phone call with her imaginary husband when she stated with disgust,
"My phone just died."  I must have looked at her funny, as she quickly offered up another statement on the condition of her phone, "Or should I say it passed away."

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Everything's Perfect

I was visiting with a friend today and asked her how she feels about balancing her work life with her family life.  She thought briefly and decided that "everything isn't wonderful, but everything is OK."  All I could think of was what my darling husband says to me when I'm talking crazy, "Woman, please!"  Her home is impeccable; her children are fed, groomed, active, and happy; she and her husband's relationship is healthy;  she looks and dresses like a J.Crew model;  and she is FANTASTIC at her job.  I pointed out all this OKness to her and upon further discussion we came to the conclusion that things are, in fact, wonderful---what they are not is "perfect."  Or are they?  

Perfect.  I've been accused of it and I've accused others of it.  We could hurl no other insult that stings as badly.  We secretly harbor the goal of perfection, but would never admit it.  It creeps up on us and robs us of our satisfactions.  If we aren't perfect, we aren't enough.

On the other hand there is the delighted squeal of someone exclaiming, "Just perfect!" over the newborn baby, the fabulous gift, the remodeled kitchen, or that decadent death by chocolate dessert.  These things ARE perfection!  Even though we know the newborn baby will fart like a foghorn in the middle of the preacher's sermon, the fabulous gift will lose its luster and end up in the charity box, the remodeled kitchen will only be remodeled again next year when the new buyers move in, and the death by chocolate dessert will be cursed hours later on the treadmill.  

Perfection is fluid.  Here today and gone tomorrow.  It's just like the rest of us...at times it is simply, well, perfect...and at other times, it could do better.  Embracing the flaws will help us to understand that it is within these imperfections that we will find our perfect.

I'm going to encourage my friend to say that she is balancing her family life with her work life perfectly.  Her version of perfect.  As for me?  I've got the market cornered on my version of perfect with those 3 little ladies.

I've learned alot about perfection and imperfection from Brene Brown.  Check out her insightful and inspiring ideas on her blog, Ordinary Courage.